1 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:10,840 THEY SPEAK IN FRENCH 2 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,000 SHE HUMS 3 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,600 HUMMING CONTINUES 4 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,280 SILENCES BELL 5 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,160 SHE HUMS 6 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,000 SHE COUGHS 7 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,760 COUGHING INTENSIFIES 8 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:15,280 9 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:20,320 10 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,360 11 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:30,120 Or some time soon 12 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,920 13 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:39,440 14 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:49,240 15 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,040 Whoa! That was amazing. 16 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,600 No wonder there's no pattern left on that plate. 17 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,240 Uncle Patrick has always been the king of the coq au vin. 18 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,280 So, I'm guessing that he pre-prepared it 19 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,160 so Judith and Jeremy don't have to cook. 20 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,760 Exactly. 21 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,680 Where is Patrick? He's gone to see Bruce Springsteen. 22 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,560 Ooh. I thought you'd be hot on his heels. 23 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,280 I'm going next week. I wouldn't miss it for the world. 24 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:16,000 Born To Run was the first album I ever learnt all the words to. 25 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,640 I played Born To Run on my mouth organ. 26 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,880 What, you can play the mouth organ? 27 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,920 I'd pay good money to see that. 28 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,680 Oh, yes, I'm quite brilliant at it, actually. 29 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:27,880 Which reminds me of my favourite dad joke. 30 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,400 A mouse goes into a music shop 31 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,880 and says, "Do you sell mouse organs?" 32 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,320 Do you know it? And the shopkeeper says, 33 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,080 "That's weird. We had one of your lot in here earlier, 34 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:42,640 "asking exactly the same question." 35 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,960 "Oh!", says the mouse, 36 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,360 "that must have been our Monica." Our Monica. 37 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,240 You do know it? 38 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,960 CHUCKLING 39 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,880 Right. Well, I think I've got just about enough room for a pudding. 40 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,040 Oh, great idea. I'll go and get some menus. 41 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,760 So, what other musical talents have you got hidden up your sleeve, then? 42 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,560 Well... Well, seeing as it's you, 43 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,720 I am... 44 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,720 a master of the spoons. 45 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:11,760 SHE LAUGHS 46 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:12,880 Shut it! 47 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,000 Hey, hang on. Watch. Right. 48 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,080 Ow! Ooh! 49 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,400 Oh! 50 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,120 Ooh! I think I'm really hurt myself. 51 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:22,400 Oh, my God! 52 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,760 Oh! Who on Earth left that there? 53 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:30,080 Well, I'm so sorry. I didn't know where to put it. 54 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,440 Right, look, I think we better get you to Aandamp;E. 55 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,640 Aandamp;E? 56 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,080 What about Douglas? 57 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,560 Oh, well, we used to have a dog. 58 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,240 We'll look after him. We know what we're doing. 59 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:43,000 Are you sure? It's the least we can do. 60 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,120 Come on, let's get you out of here. 61 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,280 Ooh! 62 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,080 Ah. Ah. 63 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,240 He prefers coconut water to plain. 64 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:55,280 He's in safe hands with us, Gloria. 65 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,640 Oh! Watch that step. 66 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,760 Oh, Gloria! Ooh! Ah! 67 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,080 Sit down, sit down, sit down. 68 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,120 PHONE RINGS 69 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:05,440 Oh! 70 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:06,960 Hello? 71 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,440 Hi, Charlie. 72 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,360 No, I-I'll be right there. 73 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,400 OK. 74 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,960 Erm, there's been an incident at the shop. I'm gonna have to go. 75 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,120 All right. I'll get Glo to Aandamp;E and give you a call. 76 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,200 I'm so sorry, Glo. Don't be daft. 77 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:27,160 I'll text you if they have to amputate. 78 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,520 SHE CHUCKLES 79 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,160 Just get my bag. All right. 80 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:35,320 Why on Earth did you offer to look after that stinking dog? 81 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,360 You were the most wonderful mother 82 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,440 to Tarquin, darling, I thought you'd be only too pleased to help. 83 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:46,360 Our Tarquin was a Kennel Club registered top pedigree toy poodle. 84 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:51,200 Also, you leaving that bucket out gives Gloria every reason to sue us, 85 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,200 and I don't want to give her one reason. 86 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:56,720 All right. 87 00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:00,280 When Patrick gets back, we'll take it back to the chateau. 88 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,520 But it is not getting on the furniture. 89 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,480 SHE SIGHS 90 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,840 Who was on the stretcher? 91 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,640 Oh, Jean, c'est terrible! 92 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:14,800 What on Earth has happened? 93 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:18,480 We got back from the cinema, and the front door of the shop was open. 94 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,840 Fifi was meant to lock up. 95 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,040 So... 96 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,160 So, we went inside, and Fifi was nowhere to be seen. 97 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,840 The door to the bathroom, it was locked, 98 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,280 so Simone kicked it in. 99 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:34,360 'As the door opened, this horrific smell came out, 100 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,280 'and Aunt Fifi was lying on the floor. 101 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:38,800 'We dragged her out.' 102 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:42,360 'And I closed the door immediately and called the police.' 103 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,520 Good grief! 104 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,960 The forensic team strongly suspect 105 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:51,080 the smell was a gas caused by bleach being mixed with ammonia. 106 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,880 Mustard gas. 107 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,680 Precisely. And in an enclosed space. 108 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:57,600 Deadly. 109 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,760 Oh, she didn't stand a chance. 110 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,400 It looks like a normal bottle of bathroom cleaner 111 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,320 was replaced with pure ammonia. 112 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,680 So when the two products mixed together, 113 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,640 it created the deadly gas. 114 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,640 So somebody changed the bottle and locked her in? 115 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,720 It would seem so. 116 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,000 We have a murder on our hands. 117 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,200 You do know it's Thursday? 118 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,280 DOG PANTS 119 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,880 I am very well aware of that. 120 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:42,520 And you do know what Thursday means? 121 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,320 I do, 122 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:50,160 but unfortunately, you invited that hairy mutt to come and stay with us. 123 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:54,520 I'm going to have to burn these 800-thread Egyptian cotton sheets. 124 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:55,760 Well, I wouldn't have had to 125 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:59,080 if you hadn't left the mop and bucket in the middle of the floor. 126 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:03,720 I am not accustomed to domestic labour, Jeremy. I did my best. 127 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,640 Well, maybe your best wasn't good enough. 128 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:10,480 Darling. 129 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,000 How dare you? 130 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,000 I'm just stating facts. 131 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,200 Are you indeed? 132 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,720 Well, one more fact from you, 133 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,560 and you will be sleeping in one of the spare rooms tonight. 134 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,800 On a Thursday? 135 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,440 Wh... 136 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,240 Do... 137 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,080 HE SIGHS 138 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,560 Oh, thank you very much. You are very welcome. 139 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,640 Oh, no. What's wrong? 140 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:02,920 Oh, this could be the end of us, this. 141 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,440 What do you mean? 142 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,800 If you choose the wrong sauce for your bacon roll. 143 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,440 SHE LAUGHS 144 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,160 Hey-hey, hey! 145 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,400 This is no laughing matter, missy. 146 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,360 I'm going to judge you very harshly if you choose the wrong one. 147 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,960 Are you now? 148 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,040 Oh, OK. 149 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,560 OK. Let's just... Let's just rip the plaster off, shall we? 150 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,960 Right, on the count of three, you grab the bottle you want. 151 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,600 Right. One... two... three. 152 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,320 Yes! 153 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:31,760 Well, it's red sauce for bacon and brown sauce for sausage, obvs. 154 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:32,800 Obvs! 155 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,040 SHE CHUCKLES 156 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,880 You are very lovely, Jean White. 157 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,320 You're not so bad yourself, Dominic Hayes. 158 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,920 DOORBELL RINGS 159 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,360 Who's that? 160 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,520 Oh, don't worry, I'll get rid of them. 161 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:53,840 The police only let us back in our flat after midnight. 162 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,320 I can still smell it. 163 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,880 Oh, Charlie, I didn't think. 164 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,440 Simone and I hardly slept a wink. 165 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,640 I'm so sorry. You could have stayed here. 166 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:05,160 Do you have any coffee? Not the English stuff in the jar. 167 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,440 Yeah, I do. Erm... 168 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,680 Ah. Good morning, Dom. 169 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,760 Oh, hi, Charlie. 170 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,560 I'm just unblocking this sink for Jean. 171 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,200 Yes, I saw Madeline outside. You are here early, no? 172 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,600 Yes. Well, you know me. I love an early morning. 173 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,240 JEAN LAUGHS 174 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:29,840 Merci. 175 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:35,000 Bet you've not eaten, either of you. Go on, help yourself. 176 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,240 Thank you, Jean. 177 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:40,640 BOTH WHISPER: No sauce. 178 00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:43,200 CHARLIE SOBS 179 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:50,160 I cannot believe it. Fifi was such a wonderful woman. 180 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,320 Yeah, she was... she was great. 181 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,480 Was she your mum's sister or your dad's? 182 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,080 Oh, neither. 183 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,640 She used to be my mum's best friend. 184 00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:03,680 Er, unfortunately, my parents threw me out when I was 17, 185 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,160 after I introduced my first girlfriend to them. 186 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,320 I see. Fifi and her husband, Brian, 187 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:12,480 they took me in for a while, and we always kept in touch. 188 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,280 I heard that she was doing a bit of cleaning in her retirement, 189 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,320 and that's why she works for us. 190 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,640 Worked for us. 191 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,200 CHARLIE SOBS 192 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,480 PHONE RINGS Excuse me. 193 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:27,760 Oh. 194 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,600 Good morning, Caron. 195 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:35,840 Yeah, er... Charlie's here. 196 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,720 Yeah. OK. Yep. 197 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,200 Hang on. 198 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,240 Erm... 199 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,360 Caron needs to talk to you, Charlie. 200 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,240 He needs you to go with him to Fifi's house cos, er... 201 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,720 Er... 202 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:52,880 OK. 203 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:58,480 Caron, erm, we will both be seeing you shortly. 204 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,000 OK, bye. 205 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,800 Thank you, Jean. 206 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:08,960 And, erm, are you all finished here now? 207 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,560 Yes. Yeah. No, that's all clear now. I'd better get back to work. 208 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,560 Yes. I don't need that. Don't need that. 209 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:14,800 HE CLEARS THROAT 210 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,240 All right? Yep. 211 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,160 See you later. Yep. Erm... 212 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,440 Well, thank you. Thank you very much, Dom. 213 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,840 Bye. Bye. 214 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:25,680 HE CHUCKLES 215 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,000 Swag to be had, my liege! 216 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,200 Oh! 217 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:45,720 Douglas? 218 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,800 Douglas. 219 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,920 Douglas! 220 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,200 No! 221 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,320 How did I forget to shut that? 222 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:12,760 Douglas! 223 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,800 THEY SPEAK IN FRENCH 224 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,000 Oh! 225 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,640 Judith! 226 00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:57,240 Judith! Wake up! 227 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,240 What on Earth are you doing? 228 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,520 The dog's escaped. What? 229 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,880 He must have made a break for it in the middle of the night. 230 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,000 He's not in prison, Jeremy. 231 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,040 PHONE RINGS 232 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:12,840 It's Gloria. 233 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,280 What shall I do? 234 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,960 Don't say a word. Tell her I've taken him for a walk. 235 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,440 Hello, Gloria. 236 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,200 Hiya. Oh, I like your blouse. 237 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,720 It's PJ's, actually, but thank you. 238 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,040 Oh, are you having a lie-in? 239 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,720 Sorry? I bet Douglas loved that. 240 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:33,840 How are you, Gloria? Oh, it's just a sprain. 241 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,280 I've got to keep off it for 24 hours. 242 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:39,280 How's my baby? Has he been a good boy? 243 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:40,640 Can you bring him to the phone? 244 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,360 Er, Jeremy has just taken him 245 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:50,480 for a lovely early morning walk in the fields behind the chateau. 246 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,400 Oh, thank you so much. Sorry, Gloria, 247 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:54,960 I've got another call coming in. Speak later. 248 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,040 Oh! Come on! 249 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,120 I don't understand. 250 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,920 She was such a lovely lady. 251 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,680 How long have you been neighbours? 252 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:08,680 I was renting the house next door from her for six years. 253 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,000 She used to feed my cat when I was at work. 254 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,360 I teach history at the local lycee, 255 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,600 and she cleaned for me every week. 256 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:21,320 She was obsessed with cleaning when I lived with her, too. 257 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,080 I am her niece, Charlie. I'm so sorry for your loss. 258 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,080 Thank you. 259 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,000 I'll take a look around. 260 00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,320 Did Fifi have any family? 261 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,000 Her husband, Brian, died ten years ago. 262 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,200 She had a half sister, Ines, who she doesn't speak to. 263 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:40,320 Why? 264 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:43,640 It was her sister's husband, Alan, who set the rot between them, 265 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:47,040 and I totally understand why. Alan could, erm... 266 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,800 How you say, Jean, erm... 267 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,680 start a fight in an empty room? 268 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,760 I used to deal with him now and then 269 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:58,360 because him and Brian had a small auction house in Biarritz. 270 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,320 But me and Alan, we never saw eye to eye, so... 271 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,240 So, what happened between them? 272 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,520 One night, Brian insisted that Alan tried to steal something 273 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:11,400 from them in their own house when they came here for dinner. 274 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,480 What did they try to steal? 275 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,720 I have no idea. 276 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,880 It was like a bomb going off in the family. 277 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,960 Alan denied it, and that was that. 278 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,840 The auction house closed down, 279 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,680 and they never spoke to each other again. 280 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:29,960 Brian has long gone, and she has lived here all alone ever since. 281 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,680 Do you know where the sister and her husband live? 282 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,920 I do if they are still in the same place. 283 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,160 Can you write it down for me? 284 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,320 Of course. Not a problem. 285 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:49,920 Thank you. 286 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:57,360 Do you know of anyone who would want to kill Fifi? 287 00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,440 No. She was so loved. 288 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,680 Everybody adored her. 289 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,880 And she didn't have much - just these little old houses, 290 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,560 her state pension and her cleaning money. 291 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,240 And I don't believe our little old houses are worth killing for. 292 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,760 Oh, I didn't mean to cause offence. 293 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:18,480 I mean, they are very sweet houses. 294 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:22,840 Maybe it's what's in the house that's worth killing for. 295 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,520 Charlie, come and have a look at this. 296 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,640 What do you think that is? 297 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,480 Ah! 298 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:34,880 Oh, my dear... 299 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,240 I don't believe it. What is it? 300 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:42,400 I think it's a bowl from the Qianlong dynasty in 1745. 301 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,240 What does that mean? 302 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,040 Approximately 50,000 euros. 303 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,160 What? 304 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,120 And I'm starting to think that Louise Moillon 305 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,360 that's propped up in the hall is real, too. 306 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,920 Wonder what else is in this little old house? 307 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:58,200 Wow! To be honest, I didn't visit her here much 308 00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,360 since I was a teenager, 309 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,240 as I always saw her in the shop, but still. 310 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,440 And there is only one living relative? 311 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:04,760 Yes. 312 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,040 I think we need to ask Fifi's sister, Ines, 313 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,800 and her husband, Alan, a few questions. 314 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,880 Richard, you and I will pay them a visit. 315 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,880 Jean, I think you and Charlie should stay here 316 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,920 and see what else you can find. Oh, yeah. No problem. 317 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,280 We might need to ask you some further questions, 318 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,040 but for now, thank you for your help. My pleasure. 319 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,720 Can I make you a drink? 320 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,960 Oh, yes, please. That'd be lovely. Thank you. 321 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,840 Yeah, it's the geometric process of energy exchange 322 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,640 that would form what we see and feel as the passing of time. 323 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:38,200 BARKING, BRAKES SCREECH 324 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,600 Sorry about that. Erm, just need to make a quick emergency phone call. 325 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:52,760 I feel dreadful. 326 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,000 Imagine someone losing our Tarquin while they were dog sitting! 327 00:19:56,040 --> 00:20:00,080 We would have never forgiven them. Tarquin would never have run away. 328 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:04,960 What kind of dog runs away from a chateau and a Wedgewood water bowl? 329 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,240 Well, what's that got to do... 330 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,640 PHONE CHIMES, HE GRUMBLES 331 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:11,760 Dominic. 332 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,240 Oh! 333 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,800 That's great news. Dominic's found Douglas running in the fields. 334 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,280 I told you, the dog is a moron. 335 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,160 Where are you? 336 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,080 Right. We're on our way. 337 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:24,200 Come on. 338 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:26,960 SHE SIGHS 339 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,360 HE EXHALES 340 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:41,320 There is never an easy way to break bad news, 341 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:45,720 but I'm afraid I have to tell you that your sister, Madame Fifi Paige, 342 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,760 was found dead last night. 343 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,400 What? How did she die? 344 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,120 We suspect she was murdered. 345 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,200 Oh, my goodness. 346 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,440 Must be a great shock. 347 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:02,600 Even though she was my half sister, she has been dead to me for years. 348 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,000 We have heard that you don't speak. 349 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:11,400 We were told it was because you were accused of stealing from her house. 350 00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:16,680 Oh, I suppose. That was from her pretend niece, Charlie. 351 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,760 To be expected, I suppose. 352 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,920 We never got on. 353 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:24,480 Well, it was never us that was doing the stealing. 354 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:28,040 Pardon? Our licence was threatened 355 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,320 to be revoked from the auction house 356 00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:33,160 because too many items over the years 357 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,480 had accidentally been misplaced. 358 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,480 You suspected Monsieur Page was stealing items? 359 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:44,720 Well... Very slowly, maybe one or two a year. 360 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:48,760 Brian blames the security I hired, 361 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:54,280 but I knew they all were as honest as the day is long. 362 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,600 People started losing faith in us. 363 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:01,360 And it wasn't just little things. Really expensive items disappeared. 364 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:06,760 I did start to suspect Brian, but he covered his tracks so well, 365 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,520 so when we were at his house for dinner one night, 366 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:14,480 I took an opportunity to explore. 367 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:19,440 After a search, I found two of the missing items and... 368 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:21,640 and I confronted him. 369 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,240 He became enraged. He said if Alan said anything, 370 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,600 he would bring all four of us down with him. 371 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,360 We left and never spoke to him again. 372 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,280 HE SIGHS 373 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:36,560 I can clear my name at last. 374 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,760 Where were you last night at 5pm? 375 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,160 We were both here at home. 376 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,080 And you only have each other as an alibi? 377 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,000 We will be in touch. 378 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,200 Is that a Grand Teddy tea-room painting? 379 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,360 Edouard Vuillard. What... 380 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,720 I thought the third one was lost forever. 381 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,600 Moi, aussi. So, where was that hidden? 382 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,680 Behind the wardrobe in the spare room. 383 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,440 And how much is this worth? 384 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,280 Oh, erm, ballpark... 385 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,920 between 200,000, 300,000 euro. 386 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:30,200 Mon dieu! You two really know your stuff. It's very impressive. 387 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,800 Did you study antiques? My PhD is in French warfare, 388 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,560 so if you ever need an expert on that, give me a call. 389 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,800 Oh, thank you. I will. 390 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,960 So, what's the tally now, Charlie? 391 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:45,440 Er, with the paintings, the console table, the Axminster rug, 392 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:49,040 circa 1760, which was rolled up under the bed in the spare room... 393 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,080 Don't forget the Louise Moillon. 394 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,880 Well, erm, almost two million euros. 395 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,480 Wow. I honestly can't believe it. 396 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,680 I had no idea. Where did it all come from? 397 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,160 PHONE RINGS 398 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,000 Hello? 399 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,880 IN FRENCH: 400 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,560 Charlie, are you OK? 401 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,200 Er... That was Fifi's solicitor. 402 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:32,400 Go on. 403 00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:36,320 She has left everything to me. 404 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:39,000 Ines has been written out of the will. 405 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,720 Oh. 406 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:44,720 But we need something stronger than this. Come next door. 407 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,640 OK. I need to tell Simone. 408 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:48,080 Yeah. OK. 409 00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:49,440 SHE EXHALES 410 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,200 Oh, I didn't know how much I needed that. Thank you. 411 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,880 Oh, my pleasure. PHONE RINGS 412 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:05,920 Oh. Excuse me. 413 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:09,000 Hello, Caron? 414 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,880 Yeah. OK. I've just got to take this. 415 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,720 Yes, yes. Of course. 416 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,400 OK. 417 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,600 I had no idea how much I meant to her. 418 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,560 Sometimes, I think it's the quality 419 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,720 over the quantity of time we spend with someone 420 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,160 that makes the greatest impact. 421 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:26,760 Mm. 422 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:30,120 She once knitted me a complete nativity set for Christmas. 423 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,240 Really? 424 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,360 Mary, Joseph, the lot. 425 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,080 The kings were a little unusual, 426 00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:39,400 but she did an amazing job with the sheep. 427 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,360 She was quite the character. 428 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,720 She never got over losing Brian. 429 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,480 They were real soulmates. 430 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,160 So in love. 431 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,000 Oh. Fantastic place you've got here, Pierre. 432 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,960 I bet those glass bottles are not from Ikea. 433 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:04,000 Oh! No. My grandmother, 434 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:08,360 she used to make the most amazing, erm, how you say, er, pickles. 435 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,640 Oh. I never had the heart to throw them away. 436 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,360 That was Caron. 437 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,680 Ines said something about Brian. 438 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:17,880 Can we just nip next door? 439 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:19,320 Sorry. 440 00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,040 Oh! 441 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,120 GLORIA CHUCKLES 442 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,280 Aw. 443 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:32,080 Hm! 444 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:42,240 SHE EXHALES 445 00:26:47,360 --> 00:26:48,560 Oh! 446 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,120 It's time for you to come home, baby. 447 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:04,800 'Douglas!' 448 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,840 Douglas! Douglas, where are you, you fool? 449 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:10,880 PHONE PINGS 450 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,840 Oh, it's Gloria. She said she's ready to have Douglas home. 451 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,080 Tell her we are having the time of our lives, 452 00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:22,120 and we would like to keep him a while longer. 453 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,160 Oh! 454 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,000 Oh, darling. Ow! 455 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:26,040 Oh! 456 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,360 PHONE CHIMES 457 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:40,680 SHE CHUCKLES 458 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,800 SHE CHUCKLES 459 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,720 I suppose it's a consolation 460 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,000 that Fifi never got to know that Brian was a thief. 461 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,920 She didn't have a clue about antiques. 462 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:00,960 All this stuff 463 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,160 will have to be returned to its rightful owners, of course. 464 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:08,400 Of course. I don't want to inherit stolen goods. It's bad karma. 465 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,280 Right. I'm gonna have one last sweep around, 466 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,000 and then we'll call it a day. Simone should have been here by now. 467 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:15,720 We will give you a lift home. Oh. 468 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,000 DOORBELL RINGS Ah! Ma cherie. 469 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:19,840 I'll put the kettle on. 470 00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:27,880 SHE GASPS 471 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,000 SHE CHOKES AND PANTS 472 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:34,040 GRUNTING 473 00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,600 YELLING 474 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,040 HE GRUNTS 475 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,160 What the hell? 476 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:48,520 Alan? 477 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,680 Can't he just live in the wild? It's a dog, darling. 478 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,320 There are dogs that live in the wild. 479 00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:00,120 Not Gloria's dog. It drinks bloody coconut water. 480 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:01,480 BARKING 481 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,080 Look. Over there. 482 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:07,840 Douglas! Don't move, Douglas! 483 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,240 No! Good boy. Stay. 484 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,240 Stay, stay! Ho, ho, ho, ho! 485 00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:16,000 We're so relieved to see you, boy. Look at him. 486 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,520 Not the tiniest bit of remorse for what he's put us through. 487 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:20,480 Come along, Douglas. Come on, Doug. 488 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:22,240 Time to go home. There we go. 489 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:23,760 Where have you been all morning? 490 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,240 Come along. Good boy. Ah! 491 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:37,080 So you found out about the will, and you attacked Charlie? 492 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:41,360 She's my dear friend, my business partner, 493 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,960 and she certainly does not deserve that. 494 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,720 Fifi left me no choice, did she? 495 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:53,640 When we heard about Ines being written out of Fifi's will 496 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:58,200 and everything being left to your friend, I just saw red. 497 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,720 They did this to you. You must leave me. Leave me. I must go. 498 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,160 'It was the last straw.' 499 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:08,520 I knew she would be at Fifi's house looking at her winnings, 500 00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,160 so I thought I would pay her a visit. 501 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:16,120 It was nothing personal to your friend. 502 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:20,200 She just doesn't deserve it. She's not even blood. 503 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:25,440 Well, your methods of attack have certainly changed in 24 hours, 504 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,480 I will give you that. I did not kill Fifi. 505 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:31,880 So you did not replace her detergent with pure ammonia? 506 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:35,000 I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. 507 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,840 I think you and your wife went to the shop yesterday, 508 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:39,640 swapped our cleaning bottles, 509 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,840 locked her in the bathroom and left her to die from the gas. 510 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,960 I did not even know how she died. And... 511 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:52,400 And me and my wife were somewhere else at that time. 512 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,920 Ah, yes. At home, with no-one to confirm this. 513 00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:00,000 We can, actually. 514 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:01,960 Go on. 515 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,360 We were at the Bureau de Poste. 516 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,000 Doing what? 517 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,680 Cashing a cheque. 518 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,160 What cheque? 519 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,680 Brian's employee pension cheque. 520 00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:21,680 You were cashing a dead man's pension cheque? 521 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,720 So you never told them that he died... 522 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,520 for ten years? 523 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,720 Mon dieu, that is low. 524 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,400 How did Fifi not know? 525 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:37,600 It was a company pension me and Brian took out. 526 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,360 Fifi didn't have to know. 527 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,760 It wasn't yours. He left us in poverty. 528 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,320 What were we supposed to do? 529 00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:51,960 We were there at 5pm, like we are every Wednesday. 530 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,440 You can check with the Bureau de Poste. 531 00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:01,760 Will I be able to claim back my half missing stock? 532 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:05,440 Sorry? 533 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:09,320 Our joint company paid for the stock. 534 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,320 Half of what it is worth is mine. 535 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,960 The stolen goods will be returned, 536 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,280 and the insurance companies will be informed. 537 00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:21,960 I also have to remind you that pension theft is fraud. 538 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:27,200 It carries a hefty fine and sometimes a custodial sentence. 539 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:31,080 Not to mention the assault on an innocent woman. 540 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,480 All for the court to decide. 541 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,360 Well, if Alan's alibi checks out, 542 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,480 then we're right back at the beginning as to who killed Fifi. 543 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:43,960 It would seem so. 544 00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,320 I just got your message. Are you OK? 545 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,600 Oh... Dominique? 546 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,680 Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. 547 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:55,360 I didn't even know what was going on. 548 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:56,960 I mean, poor old Charlie, though. 549 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,360 Are you sure? Yeah. Yeah. 550 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:03,080 You can, erm, let go of my hands now. 551 00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,040 Oh, sorry. Sorry. 552 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:08,000 Erm, do you mind giving me a lift back to Fifi's? 553 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,160 I really want to finish the inventory for Charlie. 554 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,320 Yeah. Yeah. 555 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,240 Yeah. I'm not letting you out of my sight, though. Yeah? 556 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,480 I've said it many times over the years, Mrs Lloyd-James - 557 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:24,800 we make quite the team. 558 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:30,600 I want a hot shower, and I need to call my hairdresser. 559 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:34,400 I think you look rather windswept and interesting. 560 00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:39,240 Jeremy, get... me... home. 561 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,760 Yes, of course, darling. 562 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:58,640 Oh, Charlie, I'm so glad you're OK. 563 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:00,320 Is Simone with you? 564 00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:03,480 Good. 565 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:05,160 No, I'm here now. 566 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:08,400 No, it's OK - Dom's with me. 567 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,160 Yeah. OK. 568 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:14,160 Yep. Yep. I'll see you later. 569 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:15,520 OK, bye. 570 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:16,880 SHE EXHALES 571 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,080 Blimey! 572 00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:20,480 So Charlie's a very rich woman now, then. 573 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,360 Oh, she's not, actually. She's got to give it all back. 574 00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,760 And what I wouldn't have done to get my hands on... 575 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:29,200 Oh, no. He's escaped again! 576 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:30,240 What? 577 00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:34,240 Oh! 578 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,160 No good trying to get away, mate. 579 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,520 You've been caught red pawed. 580 00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:58,560 SHE LAUGHS 581 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,240 Douglas? Oh! 582 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,440 Douglas, I think you've found yourself a truffle. 583 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:10,800 Oh! 584 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:12,880 I bet those, er... 585 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:14,800 those glass bottles are not from Ikea. 586 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,400 Oh, my goodness. 587 00:35:17,720 --> 00:35:20,280 I knew they weren't pickle jars. 588 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:24,080 All right. All right, come on. Let's get you home. Come on. 589 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:25,920 Yeah. Are you gonna be OK? 590 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:27,720 Yeah, fine. I'll see you later. 591 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:30,680 Yeah, well, the thing is, Jean... What? 592 00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,400 Well, I don't want to leave you after what happened earlier. 593 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:36,120 I was really scared. 594 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:37,920 What are you on about? 595 00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:39,480 I'll be fine. 596 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:43,800 Well, when you put it like that. 597 00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:45,200 SHE CHUCKLES 598 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:47,760 Let's get on. I'll speak to you if I need anything. 599 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,880 Oh. 600 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,280 A regular little truffle factory. 601 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:25,760 Good grief! 602 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,440 Mustard gas. 603 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,480 SHE SIGHS 604 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:35,840 DOOR OPENS 605 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,840 Oh! Hi. 606 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:46,600 You shouldn't be in here. 607 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,360 I was just looking around Fifi's, and... 608 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,400 This is not Fifi's shed, is it? 609 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:56,640 It's yours, in your shared garden. 610 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,200 Exactly. 611 00:36:58,240 --> 00:37:01,880 And you've been preserving very expensive truffles 612 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:05,320 in very expensive jars. 613 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:06,480 Yes. 614 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:07,760 Well done. 615 00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:09,680 And I'm starting to think 616 00:37:09,720 --> 00:37:12,560 I'm not the first person to have worked this out. 617 00:37:13,720 --> 00:37:17,400 I've had my lovely little job for two years now. 618 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,280 Nearly have enough for a deposit for my house. 619 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,680 'And Fifi discovered your secret?' 620 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:29,040 'Yes. That meddling old girl worked out what was going on. 621 00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,720 'She recognised my green jars were for preserving truffles.' 622 00:37:33,760 --> 00:37:36,440 'What, and you actually killed her for it?' 623 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,600 'Well, she wanted 60%!' 624 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,360 HE LAUGHS 625 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,560 'These are Perigord black truffles. 626 00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:45,480 'They're worth maybe 1,000 euros per kilo. 627 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:50,640 'She said if I didn't agree, she was going to evict me.' 628 00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,200 I'm sorry, but she had to go. 629 00:37:53,240 --> 00:37:56,720 But you wouldn't have given her a smaller percentage? 630 00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,080 What? Well, the shed is on her land. 631 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:00,360 We shared the land! 632 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,680 She agreed that I could use her shed. 633 00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:05,640 She said it would be my own private space. 634 00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:08,040 She didn't even come in here. It was her husband's place. 635 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,440 She agreed, but, oh, no! 636 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,560 When she realised there was money to be made, 637 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:15,160 she wanted what I had worked so hard to build. 638 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,480 Yes. Well, that was very unfair. Very unfair. 639 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,160 Exactly. 640 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,920 It really was very unfair. 641 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:28,880 And do you know what, Jean? I tried so hard to be kind. 642 00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:33,480 Of course I did. I even paid her to clean my house. 643 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,360 She never stopped cleaning. 644 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:39,880 It's hilarious, huh? The irony. The thing that you love the most 645 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,760 ends up being the thing that kills you. 646 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,880 Because of course, you know, she always used to clean 647 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:49,640 in the same old-fashioned planet-killing way. 648 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,920 First a ton of bleach, then a lot of detergent. 649 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,760 Oh, it drove me mad. 650 00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,800 Hm. I'm sure. 651 00:38:56,840 --> 00:39:01,160 So that's where you got the idea of how to kill her? 652 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:06,520 Every time she left my house, it stank of bleach. 653 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,680 I was going to put some in her coffee so she choked on it, 654 00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:11,400 but it seemed too obvious. 655 00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:14,520 And then it came to me. 656 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:18,880 'I was preparing a new module for my students 657 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,440 'about the Battle of Ypres in World War I. 658 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,600 'Did you know the Battle of Ypres was the first time 659 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,200 'the Germans used mustard gas, hm?' 660 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:31,160 A simple mixture of bleach and ammonia. 661 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,160 My little idea started forming. 662 00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:39,560 Then, of course, your shop was the perfect location. 663 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:43,880 She would be alone in an enclosed space at the same time every week, 664 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:48,280 cleaning in her same old-fashioned way. 665 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,320 So thank you for that. 666 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:54,160 But now of course, 667 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,280 now that you know that, 668 00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:58,360 you will have to die in the same way, hm? 669 00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:01,080 SHE PANTS 670 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:20,960 SHE COUGHS 671 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:28,680 COUGHING 672 00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,240 Help! 673 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,000 Help! 674 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:53,880 COUGHING 675 00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:29,200 You were very lucky, Jean. That scarf saved your life. 676 00:41:29,240 --> 00:41:32,160 Pierre has not fared well from this at all. 677 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:33,280 Yeah. 678 00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:36,600 Thank God my granny always told me to carry something if it got cold. 679 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,920 And if you hadn't got them out, Dom... 680 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:41,000 Yeah. 681 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:46,120 Why did you come back? It was him. 682 00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,120 Houdini here. Escaped again. 683 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,000 Came back to finish sniffing the truffles. 684 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,360 SHE LAUGHS, COUGHS 685 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,960 Well, I owe you one, too, then, Douglas. 686 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,920 I better get back. Have you been checked out by the paramedics? 687 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,680 Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Good. Take your time. 688 00:42:01,720 --> 00:42:04,560 But as you know, you will all need to be interviewed 689 00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,800 and make a statement. 690 00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:08,480 Maybe not you. 691 00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:15,480 Did he just crack a fairly funny joke? 692 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:18,520 I'm not sure. 693 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:30,280 CHATTER 694 00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:55,640 I am shattered. 695 00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:57,320 I'm not surprised. 696 00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:58,760 It has been a bit of a day. 697 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,640 You can say that again. Don't! 698 00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:01,800 Yeah. 699 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,840 Imagine you're getting on with your day, 700 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:08,160 not realising you were sat on millions. 701 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:11,200 Literally. You know that battered old chair in the lounge? 702 00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:14,600 Hm. That was an actual Louis Majorelle, Art Nouveau, 703 00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:16,480 worth about 20,000 euros. 704 00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:17,640 You're joking! Hm-mm. 705 00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,960 Thank you for today. 706 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,000 You actually saved my life. 707 00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:24,880 Don't say it like that. 708 00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:26,720 Yeah, but you did. 709 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:29,920 Yes. And I'm very glad that I did. 710 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,400 But I learned something very important today 711 00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:35,360 about you, Jean White. 712 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,280 What's that, Dominic Hayes? 713 00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:40,800 That I should never, ever, ever... 714 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:43,040 listen to a single word you say again. 715 00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:47,040 No. Where would you have been right now if I hadn't have come back? 716 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:51,680 "Oh, you go," she says. "I'll be absolutely fine," she says. 717 00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:53,480 Is he telling another dad joke? 718 00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:56,440 Hello, Glo. Hello, love. Are you feeling better? 719 00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:59,600 Yeah, I can walk. What! It's a miracle. 720 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:03,320 Oh, hello, Furry Fun Chops! 721 00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:06,920 HE MOUTHS Oh, I have missed you. 722 00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:11,320 Oh, thanks, you two. Has he been a good boy? 723 00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:15,440 Absolutely no problem at all. A complete and utter joy. 724 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,760 Hey, it's brilliant you got on so well. 725 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:21,160 My dog-sitter's just moved town, so I'll be calling on you two now 726 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,640 if I need him looking after. How lovely! 727 00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:26,880 Oh, it would be our pleasure. 728 00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,360 Oh, thanks. I'll have a white wine. 729 00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,080 On the house. 730 00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:09,720